and then she left

After nearly three years sitting side by side, my co-worker left – walked out the door with a box in her hand. She tried to make it all normal – “Ok, bye, see ya.” But then she kissed me on the cheek and we both teared up  – she turned – and she left.

Two weeks ago I went to the home of a yoga friend – a woman nearly two decades younger who had become a trusted  confidante. We scooped gossip, exchanged poses, shared marriage tales, and traded health updates. I stood in her nearly empty apartment; computer cords, unearthed DVDs, still needed screwdrivers and hammers, a balled up  tshirt littered the floor. It was the detritus of the end.  We stood in the echoey space and talked, hoping that we could have  many more talks. And then I left.

Next month, two dear friends and their son will shove off for England. They decided to resettle there after years of considering life abroad. Once they came to that decision , it happened quickly. When I heard the news, I wanted to gasp a bit indidnantly at my friend:  “I thought we’d have one more year together! “And then I  heard myself.  I thought of the current topsy-turviness of their lives – treasures sold at yard sales or taped away in boxes. They don’t know who they’ll see for their next dental check-up or where they’ll be buying cereal four months from now.  Some days this sounds exciting – others terrifying. Either way, they’ll leave.

An old friend who I haven’t talked to in months called last night from California and we talked for an hour. Another friend called today from New York – she’s on her way to Peru. Tonight I hung out with a woman I’ve known for years through my daughter’s school but have barely (ever?) spoken with alone. We talked for nearly two hours.

She left. She walks in. Close, open. Goodbye, hello. A narrowing and then an opening, the path is never clear but always holds ripe possibility.


1 thought on “and then she left”

  1. Movement and change, what do the Buddhists say…. the only thing that we can count on? sounds like theres a bit of it going on Jen, and youre feeling it. Sometimes more full on than usual, yes! Go well with integrating all this change in the life around you. You sound like youre out and about a lot more now – you must be healing and improving well there.
    We have a taste of spring in the air here – so lovely after the bite of cold we had earlier. Sunshine coming in and I’ve just gone for a brief ride on an old bike, I can still ride one yay! Daffodils coming out, little purple irises and violets in shades of blue and purple round the garden… beautiful!

    go well dear one

    love to you

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s