Through it I see a sense that around the corner or up the road, it will all pop into place.
There will be a satisfying sound as the pieces finally meet. THWAP! A sense of relief and of true beginning.
I happened just now onto a short film – a promotional gewgaw with a lot of Wes Anderson thrown in.
Its blip of color and tinny, festive music suggested a way of life that made me think:
“Yes, that. That’s how I want it all to look and feel.”
I read a profile yesterday of a life: Yes, this too. I could be this. I could do that.
And I saw a woman hunkered over a notebook: Oh sweetness, yes.
Lurking over it all, the shadow belief of how things have not quite connected – near misses that aren’t my fault.
Or more darkly the belief that it’s all in me, these near misses, this almost but not quite.
If only I could rearrange my head, my heart.