800px-Sally_Mann_response_EmilyJust a little glimpse into a possibility, the window open this much of a smidge.

Through it I see a sense that around the corner or up the road, it will all pop into place.

There will be a satisfying sound as the pieces finally meet. THWAP! A sense of relief and of true beginning.

I happened just now onto a short film – a promotional gewgaw with a lot of Wes Anderson thrown in.

Its blip of color and tinny, festive music suggested a way of life that made me think:

“Yes, that. That’s how I want it all to look and feel.”

I read a profile yesterday of a life: Yes, this too. I could be this. I could do that.

And I saw a woman hunkered over a notebook:  Oh sweetness, yes.

Lurking over it all, the shadow belief of how things have not quite connected – near misses that aren’t my fault.

Or more darkly the belief that it’s all in me, these near misses, this almost but not quite.

If only I could rearrange my head, my heart.


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