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shine

Here’s what came to me yesterday after the reality of the election settled in my Being.

I cannot hide my light any more.

No basket is big enough to darken my light.

And each of us needs to let our light shine forth. Whether it’s the tiniest flicker or a fucking flood light, it must come forth.

There are so many ways to dim our light. Over the years, I’ve hidden behind too-big clothes and a “who cares” attitude about my appearance. I’ve sat in the back row and slumped down. I’ve stuttered and muttered and spoken quietly. I’ve waited for others to go first out of politeness. I’ve avoided eye contact and not made the  hard calls. I’ve believed that even those closest  to me didn’t want to know what I had to say – didn’t need to know.

In ways that I’m only now coming to see (and yes, I’ve so often felt UNseen), I’ve hidden under some unlikely bushels: feminism, politeness, Midwestern manners. And some more expected ones, too: victimhood, self-doubt, self-loathing.

Right now as people around us feel deep fear for their futures, it came to me at last – a very very hard apple landing on my soft head – it’s the time to shine. We can only see each other and ourselves if we are standing in light. Stay in the darkness of unspeaking, of numb quiet, and you cannot be a beacon for others.  You cannot watch your own feet walk forward.

Today, I ask you to look at what bushels you are hiding your own beautiful light under? How can you share your light today with our world?

“There’s a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in,” Leonard Cohen wrote (oh dear man – thank you for your voice and your very unique and truthful light!). Your cracks are beautiful. Shine through your depression and anxiety. Through your anger. Through every part of you, be not afraid but see the opportunity to open a bit wider.

Here I am, fellow introvert in search of the closest basket. I’m right next to you. Forget your perfect offering. It’s all needed.

Need some inspiration? Here’s Mavis – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTx8cMSLZ1w

 

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1 thought on “shine”

  1. Jennifer–thank you for this. I’ve been thinking also that in order to keep each other safe we will need to be seen and known. And we’ll need to speak up and not be silenced. Not easy for us introverts, but I hope the more we do it together the more it can become a habit. The voices that have been amplified the last few years–women, Black Lives Matter, LGBT, immigrants–will never again be as silent as they once were. I keep reminding myself that there really are a lot of us who think this way. More than ever before. So glad to have your wisdom and love in the world.

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